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How I Felt Happy Again After the Baby

I’m really struggling today. And it’s only 6:54 am.

I miss sleep. I miss free time. I miss alone time. I miss being able to eat a proper meal during the day and not just a handful of dry cereal. I miss hot coffee.

Don’t be mistaken, I have a supportive and involved husband. My baby isn’t overly fussy or anything, but I just… I’m just so tired and need a break.”

That’s the post that I wrote weeks after getting my baby back home from the hospital.

My name is Jade. I’m 31, and 6 months ago, I became a mom

I felt like I’d made a big mistake by having a baby.

During my pregnancy, I was so in love with the baby, I loved being pregnant and couldn’t wait for him to finally be here, and then it all fell apart.

Woman with hood on

The first two weeks were difficult (I’m a first-time mom). I felt anxious all day, like I couldn’t handle him, especially when I had to take care of him on my own because I thought I didn’t have the slightest clue what he needed. 

My birth experience wasn’t easy, and as a result, I didn’t bond with my son until later.

Here is what happened…

My Birth Recap

I didn’t cope with the pain and couldn’t push the baby out. 

Doctors said he had his head turned to the side and would need an assisted delivery. 

I then had to wait for 2 hours to go into the delivery room due to an emergency for another woman. During that time, I was having pointless contractions with an epidural that wasn’t working and couldn’t be adjusted. 

I was feeling sorry for myself and guilty for hating my situation when my baby was doing okay, and the delay was due to another woman in a life or death situation. 

I finally got to the delivery room, but the baby got into distress, and I ended up having an unplanned Cesarean. 

So yes, not the smooth 10-minute delivery movie scenario. But my son and I were alright in the end, and that’s what’s important.

After Birth, and How the Baby Blues Started

Today, it hit me that the things that happened were pretty traumatic, and I didn’t deal with them initially.

Instead, I isolated myself from everyone and everything. 

I couldn’t remember the last time I showered. Nothing interested me, food tasted bland, I couldn’t even listen to my favorite songs because they reminded me of my carefree days.

Seeing pictures of me and my husband on holiday, enjoying the sun and each other’s company made me bawl my eyes out. Everything was so different now.

As I already said, it all just felt like a mistake.

Of course, these thoughts made me feel very guilty. Just one big storm of emotions. It made me really, really sad too. 

But I tried to stay positive, and it paid off.

Current Days and What Actually Helped Me

10 weeks passed, and I started noticing my anxiety going away. 

I’ve bonded with my son, and he is my absolute priority right now. I still get insecure about how to do things, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was.

I feel happy again. I even peed myself from laughing too hard when my husband was cracking jokes one evening.

I guess why I’m saying this is because I want everyone to know that it does get better.

Blond woman portrait

I noticed that a few certain habits I have developed over the weeks helped me come back to myself. Especially one.

Anyway, here they are:

Conversations about something else than a baby

When I meet up with my friends (some of them are new moms, too), we try not to talk about babies too much. 

I want to relax and distract myself a little bit, but talking about newborns only made me anxious and sad that I left my son with his dad. All I wanted was to go back home. 

My husband also decided to dedicate one evening per week when all the talk is just about us. About where we want to go on holidays, sharing memories about our first dates and so on. 

It made me excited about the future and think about the past without feeling sad.

Hot showers

Something about warm water and aromatic body scrubs just works like therapy for me every day.

Hot water reduces my muscle ache and makes me relaxed. Especially right before I go to bed. 

Plus, it’s another activity that is all about me-time. No obligations, just me and my thoughts.

Moving your body

Now, this was the biggest game-changer for me that I mentioned. At first, I was hesitant to exercise a few weeks after giving birth. But as I was scrolling online, I found an app that sounded promising.

They advertised themselves as a personalized meal and fitness program designed for new moms. 

I was still very unhappy and crying every day. I remembered how much I loved gym and pilates before I was pregnant. So I thought, why not, I have to start somewhere again. And a program designed just for me seemed like a safe choice.

I filled out the quiz, which asked about my current fitness situation, goals, even food allergies and pregnancy-related injuries like diastasis recti.

They then generated a meal and workout plan that I could see on the app.

Even my husband loved the meals that I make from my personalized program. Every single one of them that I tried was delicious.

But the main reason why I fell in love with this program is that they didn’t focus on the “lose baby weight” nonsense like most of the programs for “new moms” do. 

It was all about getting stronger and happier after pregnancy. And that’s exactly what I wanted and what I got. 

After 8 weeks of cooking meals from the program and squeezing in 3 easy workouts per week, I felt like my old self. Even improved.

 I’m still convinced that this is exactly what helped me get rid of the baby blues.

Self confident woman

If there is one takeaway from my story, let it be this…

Taking care of a newborn is extremely stressful, and new moms might not feel like themselves for quite some time. But we can always choose how to approach the current situation. Let it be a delicious, healthy meal cooked with your partner, a hot shower, or a quick exercise to help you feel like yourself again. 

And don’t be afraid to seek some help. Even in the form of an app. I will include the link to the quiz I was talking about before. 

Hang in there, mama!

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3 Comments

  1. I have tried this app after my first pregnancy and now I’m expecting baby number two, and exercise at least 4 times per week, I feel less tired and more physically prepared for the delivery. Recommend the product a lot <3

  2. Thanks for shedding some light on the topic, ppl just dont seem to realize how stressful it can get.

  3. I feel like I could have written this exact post. From the unplanned c-section to the anxiety to postpartum insomnia and not feeling like myself…. What you’re experiencing is completely normal. The baby blues was so much more intense and extreme than I was prepared for. This does pass! Such an inspiring story!

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